Cover of a cookbook titled "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. It showcases a slice of toast with a frowning face burned into it, accompanied by the promise to provide straightforward recipes for navigating food culture with humor.
A white mug featuring a simple face illustration rests on a rotating plate inside a microwave, evoking the charm of "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. The microwave's messy interior suggests past culinary escapades, while the digital display humorously reads "8:88" and "BREAKFAST" is highlighted in orange text over the scene.
Explore an easy recipe from "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. This humorous twist on gourmet cuisine combines nuts, jerky, and cheese creatively displayed on a wooden board. Accompanied by gas station-themed instructions to the left and set against a white background, it's an ideal addition to any eclectic cookbook collection.
A pink floral dish labeled "In loving memory of Grandon" holds a potato salad on a white cloth, evoking the feel of treasured pages from *You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food* by Gneiss Spice. The left page presents the recipe for Potato Salad for the Living, featuring text on its background and straightforward preparation steps.
A page from "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice, showcasing a simple recipe for mini ice cream sandwiches. Set against a white background, it highlights an enticing stack and detailed instructions for crafting 12 delightful treats.
An appetizing display of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches on toasted bread graces the open page of "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food." On the left, ingredients and straightforward recipe steps are highlighted, while a tempting photo on the right entices readers to explore this delightful slice of food culture, brought to you by Gneiss Spice.
Cover of a cookbook titled "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. It showcases a slice of toast with a frowning face burned into it, accompanied by the promise to provide straightforward recipes for navigating food culture with humor.
A white mug featuring a simple face illustration rests on a rotating plate inside a microwave, evoking the charm of "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. The microwave's messy interior suggests past culinary escapades, while the digital display humorously reads "8:88" and "BREAKFAST" is highlighted in orange text over the scene.
Explore an easy recipe from "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice. This humorous twist on gourmet cuisine combines nuts, jerky, and cheese creatively displayed on a wooden board. Accompanied by gas station-themed instructions to the left and set against a white background, it's an ideal addition to any eclectic cookbook collection.
A pink floral dish labeled "In loving memory of Grandon" holds a potato salad on a white cloth, evoking the feel of treasured pages from *You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food* by Gneiss Spice. The left page presents the recipe for Potato Salad for the Living, featuring text on its background and straightforward preparation steps.
A page from "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food" by Gneiss Spice, showcasing a simple recipe for mini ice cream sandwiches. Set against a white background, it highlights an enticing stack and detailed instructions for crafting 12 delightful treats.
An appetizing display of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches on toasted bread graces the open page of "You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food." On the left, ingredients and straightforward recipe steps are highlighted, while a tempting photo on the right entices readers to explore this delightful slice of food culture, brought to you by Gneiss Spice.

You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Preparing Food

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“This book is the antidote to precious food culture, and it’s the first cookbook to ever make me repeatedly LOL. The (anonymous) author turns the expected on its head in a voice that’s perhaps best described as Super Mock Textbook. . . . The recipes herein could become anyone’s favorite go-tos.”—BookPage

From the (anonymous) author: 

When I make a recipe, I’m looking for the intersection of simplicity and tastiness that is formulated from a mathematical algorithm too complicated for you to understand but that’s mostly based on subtraction. I still get intimidated when I see a long ingredient list. And if not intimidated, it makes me want to take a nap. That’s why most of the recipes in this book don’t have too many ingredients and it’s also why there is some ingredient repetition. If you learn how to do a few things well, it can help form a basis for you to try things on your own. It’s also just a reflection of my own limitations, which I am pretending is intentional. But my limitations happen to have excellent taste.

Use this book however you want. If you’re new to cooking and want to learn some basics, start at the beginning. When you’re bored of that, jump to a recipe. If you don’t want to cook at all but enjoy absurd humor, read it like a novel...